well it’s 1 and I’ve been sitting her overthinking and that’s not very good for me, so I think I’ll sleep. goodnight. I love you guys.
- I’m loud.
- I’m obnoxious.
- I’m sarcastic.
- I’m cocky.
- I cry easily.
- I have a bad temper.
- I’m easy to get along with.
- I have more enemies than friends.
- I’ve smoked.
- I’ve smoked weed.
- I drink coffee.
- I clean my room daily.
- I wear a piece of jewelry at all times.
- I wear makeup.
- I wear contacts.
- I wear glasses.
- I have braces.
- I change my hair colour often.
- I straighten my hair often.
- I have a piercing. (well just ears)
- I have small feet.
- I’m in a relationship now.
- I’m single.
- I’m crushin’.
- I’m always scared of being hurt.
- An ex has physically abused me at least once.
- I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
- I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
- I’ve been in love more than two times.
- I believe in love at first sight.
- I believe lust is more important than love.
- I have a best friend.
- I have at least ten friends.
- I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
- I’ve beaten up a friend.
- I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
- I’ve been on a plane.
- I’ve been on a train.
- Someone close to me has passed away.
- I’ve taken a taxi.
- I’ve taken a city bus.
- I’ve taken a school bus.
- I’ve gone bungee jumping.
- I’ve made a speech.
- I’ve been in some sort of club.
- I’ve won an award.
- I’ve spent 24 Hours on the computer straight.
- I’ve been in a physical fight.
- I listen to R&B.
- I listen to country.
- I listen to kpop.
- I listen to techno.
- I listen to rock.
- I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I hate it.
- I hate the radio.
- I download music.
- I buy CD’s.
- I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
- I watch soap operas daily.
- I’m in love with Days of Our Lives.
- I’ve seen and liked the O.C.
- I’ve seen and liked One Tree Hill.
- I’ve seen and liked Americas Next Top Model.
- I’ve seen and liked Popular.
- I’ve seen and liked 24.
- I’ve seen and liked CSI.
- I’ve seen and liked Law & Order: SVU.
- I get along with both of my parents.
- My biological parents are still together.
- I have at least one brother.
- I have at least one sister.
- I have at least one step brother/sister.
- I have at least one half brother/sister.
- I’ve been kicked out of the house.
- I’ve ran away from my home.
- I’ve sworn at my parent(s).
- I’ve made my parents cry.
- I’ve lied to my parents.
- I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
- I’ve lied to my parents about what I’m doing.
- I’ve lied to my parents so I’d be allowed out.
- I’ve walked out when I’ve been grounded.
- I’ve been brown.
- I’ve had streaks.
- I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
- I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
- I’ve been blonde.
- I’ve had black.
- I’ve been red.
- I’ve been light brown.
- I’ve been blue/green.
- I’ve gotten my hair thinned.
- I use conditioner.
- I’ve used silk therapy.
- I’ve used hot oil treatments.
- I’ve curled my hair.
- I’ve straightened my hair.
- I’ve ironed my hair.
- I’ve braided my hair.
- I’ve yelled at a teacher.
- I’ve been suspended.
- I’ve had an in-school suspension.
- I’ve been sent to the principals office.
- I’ve walked out of class.
- I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
- I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
- I’ve cheated on a test.
- I’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.
- I’ve failed Art.
- I’ve failed P.E.
- I’ve failed Math.
- I’ve failed another class.
- A teacher has called my parents.
I don’t even know how to feel half the time. If I don’t expect anything from anyone, I tend to be happiest, but it’s also not easy. And sometimes I pretend I don’t care and I’ve convinced myself it doesn’t matter so well that it almost doesn’t, bu then it’s 11:38 on a Sunday night and I can’t help but feel like I must have failed if I never got even a few words in return. But it shouldn’t matter. And maybe when my good friend gets a boyfriend, a new one, all of sudden I should be happy for her but all I can think is why the hell everything always works out so spontaneously and perfectly for her and not for me. And why it is that all the wrong people tell me I’m attractive, but when it comes to those I wish actually thought that, I’m pretty sure they don’t. And you know, I think maybe last night hanging out with the people I was going to hang out with didn’t work out for a reason. Maybe it just didn’t work out because he was there and maybe I’m not meant to end up with him. Or maybe it’s just that my friend didn’t text me back because she knows that I care about him and she doesn’t think it would be a good idea, despite what she told me. Or maybe I’m just annoying and getting in the way again. Or maybe she really didn’t go and I’m just overanalyzing. but she has a boyfriend now, and she did seven months ago, and I never have. And I can’t watch my favorite movie without ending up a mess up tears, but it shouldn’t have to be like that. But I can’t, because I want that too. Because I think if I was given the opportunity, I would be so wonderful in love. I think maybe people would like me better and I’d be a better version of myself. And yet I scroll through twitter instead, wondering why everyone’s so happy. Twitter. It’s the greatest thing sometimes, when it helps me make friends and see just how wonderful everyone else is, but then when I’m sad it’s the worst place because they’re all better off than me. And you know, the worst part about feeling the way I do is that nobody seems to understand. Nobody seems to know what it feels like to feel this inferior sometimes, and when I explain they say things like the never would have been able to tell I feel like this, and I laugh nervously because I can’t stop these feelings and thoughts. And it’s miserable. And tonight this is because of a boy, and because of my friend, with whom I thought of having a heart to heart tomorrow. But now I doubt that’s happening because she’s in love and I’m, well, I’m trying to forget a person or at least forget about how I feel about them so that maybe, somehow we can still be good friends. But he’s not very expressive and I doubt I’ll ever even know if what I did on Thursday was stupid or clever, or ridiculous. And maybe they talked about me. Maybe I’ll be alone on March 29th then, but I don’t want to be. I think I’d cry.
"I find it relatively easy to keep my clothes on because I don’t really feel like taking them off. It’s not an urge I have. For me "risky" is revealing what really happened in my life through music. Risky is writing confessional songs and telling the true story about a person with enough details so everyone knows who that person is. That’s putting myself out there, maybe even more than taking my shirt off.”